My own Chandler Bing

After a month of celibacy I was afraid I lost my game- but no worries, I can still pull.

My sorority’s formal was last night and I was set up with one of my friend’s best guy friend, Chandler. I went into the evening completely nervous: “Is he cute,” “Does he drink,” “Can he dance,” “Is he going to be fun,” and I can assure you the answer to all of which ended up being yes. Hard yeses. My ride pulled up to the front of the building and he gracefully emerged to open the car door for me and I was presented with a tall, lean, cleaned up boy with a gorgeous smile and a superior tux. I swear I never even considered a guy with long hair before but him standing there with perfectly gelled back hair was killer.

We arrived at the pregame and started the festivities. There was a little awkwardness at the beginning but it soon faded. The pregame was perfectly substantial with introductions, a few group photos, shots, and my personal favorite, FLIP CUP. We then proceeded to walk to the sorority house to catch the bus to the function. Chandler and I walked arm in arm the whole way.

The bus pulls up to the dazzling Art Museum. We first made our way to the upstairs to play a few rounds of Texas Hold’em (poker themed event). After losing we made our way to the massive downstairs dance floor. Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” was the first to play and it was like the gods were shinning down on me throwing me my anthem perfectly timed like that. The music was blaring and we danced for what could have been days. When the first bad song struck we snuck away to the food portion of the event to munch on meatballs, sandwiches, and lemonade that we spiked with everclear (thank god for flasks am I right?) And the night just kept getting better. Chandler and I were so close while dancing, so close while sitting and talking, and so close to hooking up.

The group of friends, Chandler, and I decided we were ready to head downtown so we departed. The plan was for the girls and their dates to head to their apartments for the girls to change out of their long formal dresses before we all met downtown. On the bus ride back Chandler and I were slumped in our seats, faces dangerously close. I don’t know who made the first move, high chance it was me, but we were instantly making out. He started biting my lip and the tables had completely turned.

We stumbled into my dark apartment, still making out. I walked to the kitchen to put all the alcohol away and as I reentered my bedroom Chandler is already standing there with his shirt off. I smirked with a, “Well aren’t you presumptuous,” and our bodies hit the bed.

We didn’t make it downtown. We spent the next 4 hours rolling around hooking up. We didn’t have sex (I stuck to the rule)- but it was successful nonetheless. Never in my life have I hooked up with someone that was so focused on me. Like I would think that I reached my limit and five seconds later we would be back to me. For 4 hours straight. Intermixed we had a full discussion on music. At one point we hooked up to my favorite Dave Matthews song (Drunken Solider, look it up) and nothing could have been more satisfying.

We woke up and started again in the morning. He was so much fun. We hung out for a little but I eventually and unfortunately had to drive him home. He thanked me about 1,000 times for such a fun night even though I should have been the one thanking him over and over again.

He plays the guitar, listens to country music, is growing out his luscious locks for a man bun, and I could not be more intrigued to all these new things. We’re still snapchatting and texting. And finally we have lose plans to sneak into our college’s football stadium in the middle of the night. Yes, Chandler, Yes.

-E

p.s. The worst thing that happened this night: Remember New-Year’s-eve-masturbating-boy? His best friend came up to me at formal, and no I had no idea who he was at first “HEY Remember me???? Oh my gosh can I get a picture with you? *Masturbating boy* would just love it if I sent him a photo of you that you’re here.” I agreed to one awkward photo and then I was trying to leave he held down the camera button snapping about 100 photos of me. I hated the whole experience and ran back into Chandler’s arms.

p.p.s. The best thing that happened: I was wearing this beautiful wrap dress with two long strands in the front so you can tie it however you like, and the best part was Chandler untying it.

p.p.p.s. Chandler is not his real name.